Do you wake up at night in a cold sweat, fretting about all the details of your wedding day? Do you get the feeling that you’ve missed or forgotten something, or simply worry that all of your planning is going to fall apart at the last minute?
After coordinating weddings for the past four years and myriad other events for the past 12, I often get asked how a wedding gets put together without someone like me and the truth is that there is no ONE person that will do that for you. Your friends and family may offer up their help enthusiastically, but can you honestly trust an assortment of people to handle everything for you AND hope they still have a good time at your wedding?
Weddings have a lot of moving pieces that need to line up seamlessly for the day to go perfectly. That’s a lot of stress to put on yourself, especially if it’s YOUR big day! There are typically around 10-12 different vendors, many of whom never meet or speak with each other prior to the wedding day. They each may have had different conversations with the bride and gotten different impressions about what the day is supposed to be like. Without a single source of information and organization available (i.e. the wedding coordinator), lines are sure to be confused and chaos can ensue!
Here’s how a wedding coordinator works on your wedding day:
- We get the details in one place by gathering the pertinent information from all of your vendor contracts, conversations, and notes. Then, we create one comprehensive itinerary for the week of the wedding to share with everyone involved. Your vendors will feel like they are on the same page and included in the process. This helps make an overall happier vendor team, therefore allowing them to provide a better service to you.
- We become the main contact. With up to a dozen or more vendors needing to be directed, it can get overwhelming connecting with each one to finalize logistical details. We handle all of that for you and then on the week of your wedding, if there are still any questions unanswered, you’ll only be hearing from us.
- We attend the rehearsal. The rehearsal is not just to practice the ceremony and how to stand, but we can use it to get your family and bridal party comfortable with their roles and how the rest of the day will go (toast times, special dances, etc). At the rehearsal is also when we take everything off your hands (guest book, decorations, place cards, etc) so you can enjoy your rehearsal dinner and your whole wedding day without worrying about any of those small details.
- Finally, the wedding day! I could go into pages of detail on all the things we handle on the wedding day, but it suits us to say that we’re everywhere at once. We’re decorating the reception and ceremony sites, making emergency alterations or removing stains on dresses, cuing the string quartet for your magical walk down the aisle to your groom, and so much more. With emergency kit in tow, we are the conductors of your wedding day, orchestrating every detail according to the itinerary and solving any crises along the way. We are often hard at work for an average of 13 hours straight, which makes for an exhausting day. It’s a good thing we love what we do, because nothing is more satisfying than seeing our happy and relaxed couples at the end of the most memorable day in their lives (at least up to that point!).
After reading all the tasks above, would you really want to put that kind of stress on yourself or a friend who is also invited to the wedding as a guest? Keep in mind also that a coordinator provided by the ceremony and/or reception facility is not going to do all these things for you either. Many are extremely accommodating and will take care of you very well, but their first priority is the facility and probably also the food. With our experience, we are going to be invested in ensuring your wedding day goes off without a hitch.
Finally, I’d like to leave you with a few notes on how to keep your sanity on your wedding day!
- Make sure everyone is on the same page. Your vendors should all have a single itinerary that tells them what is happening when. This is the best tool I provide my brides and their vendors.
- How is it all going to come together? If you don’t have a wedding coordinator to handle everything, you will need a detailed plan for getting all the work done and your “plan B’s” in order for emergencies.
- Your friends, family and guests need to be “in the know” as well. Make sure guests know when and where to go, especially if you’re providing transportation. Your bridal party should be aware of your expectations on their roles, what to wear, when their appointments are, and what to do on the wedding day.
- Don’t wait until the last minute! For the really important things, like your vows and speeches, give it some time to breathe. You want to feel really confidant in those things and that may take some re-writing and practicing…so start early!
- Preserve your sanity. What makes you happy? A trip to the beach, a spa day, or time with friends? Make sure you get some of that leading up to your wedding day so you won’t be a stress ball when the big day finally does arrive. With proper planning, you can enjoy your last few weeks as a fiancé before becoming a wife.
